It’s almost 2020, which means it’s time to leave your water drinking habits in the past. Throw your water bottle in the trash. You’re going to look like a caveman drinking from a bottle. Trust me.
In 2020, we drink from ladles.
“What’s a ladle?” A ladle is a spoon that looks like a bowl on a stick.
“But where do I get my water?” you might ask. From everywhere! A Burger King bathroom sink, puddles, water fountain, a Home Depot bucket you fill with tap water and keep in your car trunk… use your head! I can see you now with my binoculars rolling your eyes. “I’m not drinking that gross water.” Wow, you are spoiled, but I get it.
In San Diego, tap water tastes gross. I’m originally from Northern California where you can drink from a garden hose and it’s no different than chugging from a majestic waterfall. In SoCal, the water tastes like hotel water. You know what I mean. We’ve all been there: dried out in your hotel room because you ran the A/C at 67 degrees because you wanted your money’s worth. Desperate, you look at the Aquafina bottle sitting on what looks like a wireless phone charger. You know you’ll get charged $3.99 for it, so you grab the urine sample cup they left you by the coffee maker. You get some sink water, even though you know some weirdo probably put their butt on the sink faucet. The water tastes gray, like fossils. They probably let a rock dissolve in it. That’s life in San Diego, 24/7. Ladles solve this problem.
How? Because ladles fix nasty water. WHAT?! HOW?! Because it’s RUSTIC. Nasty water is rustic. Ladles are rustic. Do you get it?! Ladles are meant for bucket water. Puddle water. Water from a well where a raccoon fell inside and died. If you drink nasty water from a wine glass, you will be offended. If you drink nasty water from a ladle, you are content. That’s how our brains work. Deceive your brain! You will feel like a gristly hero drinking from a ladle.
Ladles are cool. Ladles save money. And they come in a variety of shapes and sizes. This guy on YouTube made a ladle from a piece of tree. My ladle came from my kids’ Melissa and Doug kitchen set. They weren’t using it. Final point, I have never seen a wimp drink from a ladle. Be in good company. Get yourself a ladle.
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