“Why I Quit the Library” Comic Series: The Toilet

Why am I suddenly working on a library comic when I should be finishing my novel? Here’s why: in my mid-20s, I got a job at the city library. I thought it was going to be an awesome, chill job where I could just sit on my butt and read books. Nope. Turns out, a lot of weirdos go to the library. Most of them don’t even go there for the books. They like to sleep, clog toilets, cuss at you, steal DVDs, accuse you of trying to rape them, etc.

Anyway, I decided not to let my stories of working at the library go to waste and that’s why I am working on a library comic. I guess that doesn’t explain why I’m not working on my novel. Truthfully, I’m in a novel-writing-rut and need something else to do in the meantime.

library comic funny librarian clogged toilet

I’m going to “go there.” Forgive me. I’ve seen a lot of clogged toilets in my day. I’ve walked in countless stalls and seen the result of slobs who can’t simply raise their foot up and flush. Here is why this clogged toilet is seared into my mind: when a toilet is clogged, the water rises, but doesn’t go down. The addition of water from the tank should dilute the contents of the toilet. In other words, the poop to water ratio shifts from 1 part poop /6 parts water to 1 part poop/12 parts water. There was no dilution with this clog. It honestly looked like six people (specifically 400 lb men) took turns on the toilet without flushing. I think this library comic is going to come back to haunt me.

If you’re curious how this story ended, I got the custodian/maintenance guy and let him lose five years off his life. I think the patron who informed me of the clog expected me to do something right that minute. If I tried flushing that toilet, I had no doubt it would explode in my face and give me Hep-B.