Proboscis Monkey Valentine Cards are a gift from me to the world. If you’re not familiar with Proboscis Monkeys, they’re incredibly ugly, but desperate for love (something I think most of us can relate to). No matter the size of your nose, I think we can all use a bit more proboscis monkey in our lives. I have no idea what to write here. I’m literally just rambling to meet the 300 word count so my SEO score goes up.
I have worked tirelessly for just over an hour on these Proboscis Monkey Valentine Cards™. These will make a face light up. They will melt a heart. Eyes will have tears. Proboscis Monkeys are the symbol of love in 2021 and beyond. Are you convinced yet or are you still thinking about wasting $3.99 on a Hallmark card? Most of those just sound sarcastic anyway.
An uncensored version of the “disgusting displays” card is also available behind a pay wall. Just Venmo me $1 and it’s yours (I don’t have Venmo). I should warn you that if you google image search “Proboscis Monkeys,” many of the pictures will disturb you. Even with safe search on.
As far as I know, you can’t see a Proboscis Monkey in captivity (at least not in the US). You have to go to Borneo, which is not even on my top 20 list of places to go. It’s a bummer because I really wanted to see them and be both amazed and disgusted at the same time. By the way, I did not hit the 300 word mark and now the stupid thing says I use “passive voice” too much. Wait, the passive voice thing went away. I’m only 20 words away. Now it says I don’t use transition words enough AND that stinks!